old book smell

quinta-feira, 26 de dezembro de 2013


I`ve been out of Facebook for a while and, honestly, haven`t been missing it at all.
But decided to take a look at it for Xmas time...and...WTF? Everybody is getting married?

I deleted my account again...  = /


And then, that ache again...

A Stomachache. It`s killing me.
Maybe because of the amount of tequilas I had...maybe...really maybe.
A mix of anxiety, anger, pain, cry, happiness, thankfulness, sadness, fear, boredom, I dunno.

Are you home already? Please, tell me.
I`ve got the keys, but not the keys I wish.
I`ve got the card, but not the card I need.
I`ve got the kiss, but not the kiss I deserve.
I`ve got the look, but not the look I want.
I`ve got the song, but not the song I crave. 

I`ve heard it`s been raining a lot. Not here, only inside.

I`ve got a stomachache!

segunda-feira, 23 de dezembro de 2013

Hit the road, Viv!

And I keep following the tradition of spending New Year in a different place every year...

Love me two times, one for tomorrow one just for today...
Love me two times, I'm gonna away!!!!!!

See ya around, babies!  


You call me a dog well that's fair enough
'Cause it ain't no use to pretend
You're wrong
When you call me out I can't hide anymore
I have no disguise you can't see through

Well you say it's bad luck
To have fallen for me
Well what can I say to make it good for you
You wore me out like an old winter coat
Trying to be safe from the cold

But when it's my time to throw
The next stone
I'll call you beautiful if I call at all

You tell me I'm low 'cause I've slept on the floor
And out in the woods with the badgers & wolves
You threw me out 'cause I went digging for gold
And I came home with a handful of coal

But when it's my time to throw the next stone
I'll call you beautiful if I call at all
And when it's my time to call your bluff
I'll call you beautiful or leave it alone
You call me a dog
Well that's fair enough
It doesn't bother me as long as you know
Bad luck will follow you
If you keep me on a leash and
You drag me along

quinta-feira, 12 de dezembro de 2013

quarta-feira, 4 de dezembro de 2013

Freud explica

Esse papo de que Freud explica sempre veio aos meus ouvidos com certa desconfiança... Mas será?

Sou da área de Humanas, acredito nas palavras, idolatro a Linguística..mas...será?

A vida dá muitos tapas na cara e hoje levei mais um. Freud explica mesmo! Implica e ainda te assusta  quando você consegue olhar para dentro de si. Talvez tenha sido um dos primeiros olhares que eu dei para o meu interior de maneira tão racional e clara.

O autoconhecimento pode ser dolorido, tenebroso e até amedrontar, mas vale a pena...porque minha alma não é pequena.

Get to know myself better...


personnes......mensen...mense...njerëz...Menschen...ժողովուրդ...الناس... xalq...jende...хора...人...사람들...mennesker...ľudia...ihmiset...άνθρωποι...emberek...
Ah, pessoas são sempre pessoas...anywhere.
People are strange...But I like them... I like people. And I learned it today.

terça-feira, 3 de dezembro de 2013


She always had abortions in the fifth month. Ok, maybe not always...but it was the third time already.
And she could feel another one coming... Sad, but true...

Gotta love metaphors!

Ah, the kids...

I always wanted to be a mother.
No... not true. Before 19, I kinda hated kids...Dunno why.
After that, started teaching them, fell completely in love with them..there was Pedro, Leo, Luisa, Rafael, Samira, Luana, Isabelle, Enzo, Gabi and maaany others.
And there was ALEXANDER... that was real love.
But sadly, I had given this up lately and I  DO KNOW WHY.
Thinking this was not for me, I was not worthy or good enough to receive such a grace.
But a few hours can change everything...everything..

Visiting a sisfriend who has got lovely twins...I realized it is possible..and it will happen!!!

Ahhh, the kids! The power of the kids!

segunda-feira, 1 de julho de 2013

June, 25.

What a night...what a surprise!!!

I will never forget that day.
Never been so anxious...never been so happy either!   = D

Life is a plesant surprise. It`s just a matter of time now.

sábado, 15 de junho de 2013


I`m proud to see the awakening of Brazilian People! I gotta be part of this!!!  Better late than never!

Never say Never

I NEVER EVER (ops..just said it again) thought I`d enjoy the argentinian accent. Even in Portuguese speaking…well, I kinda enjoy it now…
And yeah, I passed the University entrance exam...I admit, I don’t deserve cumpliments…It was a piece of cake…the whole cake, but anyway, It marks a new time in my life and I love changes! It was about time!

Getting ready to live in the chaos soon… = /  

Verdad universal

“ Amor que no es algo loco, logrará poco”. Verdad universal

Far away

And I keep loving that part: “Oh my God, I can`t believe it… I’ve never been this far away from home” Kaiser Chiefs

I love flying...

Tickets booked!
I’m counting down...can’t wait for vacation and some travel time.
And a boring one was once able to ask me: are you going to afford it?

Traveling is not a matter of money, life or death…it`s beyond that…

But of course…not for all. Some minds are too narrow to get that.  ; )

Not easy

Nobody said that would be easy... but nobody said it would hurt like hell either.

And I cry and I cry…

And All my mom and I wanted was to hear:

Hello, my name is… Nice to meet you!

sexta-feira, 31 de maio de 2013

Roller Coaster

I actually enjoy them...the roller coaster, I mean.
I also like the roller coaster life we live.

And I hadn't gone for a ride since...since a while ago. And I didn't want to. Everything was settled down. Amazingly, I wasn't bored either.
But fuck, the telephone rang..an earth- shattering call and my world goes totally out of balance.
I pull myself together and go on... Saturday, everything feels like home again...Dinner, wine, cold weather. PERFECT! I'm happy...make up my mind. Fuck!!!!!!!! Sunday night, we go backawards and I cry, that sort of cry we have when you lose something we love. Deep inside, I don't care, cause in the end the things we love we lose ( but I don't wanna talk about it...too sad and true).
I drive steadly and firmly...

Doubt is back: North or South?
I dunno anymore...

Holiday's eve...I finish a big bottle of wine myself to find a way out.

Got drunk, hangover and I still don't know. ( I do).

Don't know which place I should go ( I do).

Not sure about this fucking pace ( I am)
I don't wanna talk. ( I do)

I wish I didn't have a mobile! ( I really wish) Things would be much easier!

I have to slow down... but here is the thing : I'm running out of patience!

Has the ride finished????  I don't think so!

quinta-feira, 25 de abril de 2013

"You live a life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once."  Old Czech saying

terça-feira, 23 de abril de 2013

Tripping away...

Life is not measured by the number of times we breathe, but by the breathtaking moments and places .

Last night I was in Holland and took a cab to London. Impossible is nothing! Even though that was just a dream.

What is it that makes someone hit the road, that whispers it's about time you took off and reached new horizons, only to find out what is on the other side?

Wanderlust is the willingness to open up your mind and go beyond what you are used to. And when you get there you giggle, get stiff, slump in your own words, get emotional ...whatever. No matter what the destination is..London or an exotic place, traveling changes us, sometimes in a superficial way, others in a deep way. Traveling is like a classroom with no walls.

Traveling kills prejudice, fanaticism and narrow minds.
Somebody said once: "The world is a book and those who do not travel are reading only one page of it."

How many pages are you reading???

Explore. Dream.

domingo, 24 de março de 2013

See the world ( Inspired by Breathe, Pearl Jam)

Whoa. I suggest you step out on your porch.

yeah, I fucking need to step out my porch.
Run away, little girl . See it all. Oh see the world.
I miss the world!
Oh reach the door. A breath and a...I dunno know what.
Life ain't what it's worth.
A breath and a... Oh reach the door.
reach the door.
reach the door.
reach the door.
reach the door.
reach the door.
Ooh. Whoa, much more than this. Woh see the world. Much more than...
Oh, much more than. Why? what? when? where...Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????!!!!

I just opened my door.

O lutador ( The fighter)

"That's what I am"

Lutar com palavras 
é a luta mais vã.
Entanto lutamos
mal rompe a manhã.
São muitas, eu pouco.
Algumas, tão fortes
como o javali.
Não me julgo louco.
Se o fosse, teria
poder de encantá-las.
Mas lúcido e frio,
apareço e tento
apanhar algumas
para meu sustento
num dia de vida.
Deixam-se enlaçar,
tontas à carícia
e súbito fogem
e não há ameaça
e nem 3 há sevícia
que as traga de novo
ao centro da praça.
Insisto, solerte.
Busco persuadi-las.
Ser-lhes-ei escravo
de rara humildade.
Guardarei sigilo
de nosso comércio.
Na voz, nenhum travo
de zanga ou desgosto.
Sem me ouvir deslizam,
perpassam levíssimas
e viram-me o rosto.
Lutar com palavras
parece sem fruto.
Não têm carne e sangue…
Entretanto, luto.
Palavra, palavra
(digo exasperado),
se me desafias,
aceito o combate.
Quisera possuir-te
neste descampado,
sem roteiro de unha
ou marca de dente
nessa pele clara.
Preferes o amor
de uma posse impura
e que venha o gozo
da maior tortura.
Luto corpo a corpo,
luto todo o tempo,
sem maior proveito
que o da caça ao vento.
Não encontro vestes,
não seguro formas,
é fluido inimigo
que me dobra os músculos
e ri-se das normas
da boa peleja.
Iludo-me às vezes,
pressinto que a entrega
se consumará.
Já vejo palavras
em coro submisso,
esta me ofertando
seu velho calor,
aquela sua glória
feita de mistério,
outra seu desdém,
outra seu ciúme,
e um sapiente amor
me ensina a fruir
de cada palavra
a essência captada,
o sutil queixume.
Mas ai! é o instante
de entreabrir os olhos:
entre beijo e boca,
tudo se evapora.
O ciclo do dia
ora se conclui 8
e o inútil duelo
jamais se resolve.
O teu rosto belo,
ó palavra, esplende
na curva da noite
que toda me envolve.
Tamanha paixão
e nenhum pecúlio.
Cerradas as portas,
a luta prossegue
nas ruas do sono.

By Carlos Drummond de Andrade


It’s amazing the power a single word has. It’s also inevitable the reaction the words cause. Like that new perfume commercial in which Brad Pitt says: INEVITABLE... almost bizarre if it wasn’t  enchanting.
They are such a powerful thing that they may kill or resurrect one. And the lack of them drives me crazy. I love playing with words and I wish I had total control over them. Ok, It’s good to be speechless sometimes.
Sadly enough, I’d say, words can awake poignant memories.
Crazily enough, as I read the word canteen I feel like crying, I feel Numb, I feel down, I feel sad.
Even crazier, I usually remember the very moment I learned a new word ( in a foreign language, of course), when I first heard that, the situation and who taught me that.
That’s exactly why I don’t wanna hear, read or write the word canteen.
But it’s there!


quarta-feira, 20 de março de 2013

One year ago...

I was having one of my best weekends ever in LONDON!

"Nostalgie" is killing me.

I wish I had more time to spend on writing...cause ideas...well, I have plenty of them!

Right now, all I can say is that I'm addicted to Such Sweet Nothing ( got it?) and her voice takes me to some other (ENG)land!

You took my heart and you had it in your mouth
And with a word all my love came rushing out
And every whisper it's the worst
Emptied out by a single word
There is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing
And it's hard to learn
And it's hard to love
When you're giving me such sweet nothing
Sweet nothing
Sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing

It isn't easy for me to let it go
Cause I've swallowed every single word
And every whisper, every sigh
Eats away this heart of mine
And there is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing
And it's hard to learn
And it's hard to love
When you're giving me such sweet nothing
Sweet nothing
Sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing

And it's not enough
To tell me that you care
When we both know
That words are empty air
You give me nothing!

terça-feira, 29 de janeiro de 2013



I hope it looks as boring as it is...  ( It's killing me)

quinta-feira, 24 de janeiro de 2013

Excerpts from conversations with cute 5-year-old boys II

( Dutch honesty or Alstublieft behaviour)

   - Would you like to go to Brazil again, Alexander?
   - No, never!
   - Why not?
   - Because it's too small for me!

 There is a map on the wall and I ( proudly) show him The Netherlands and Brazil.

   - See the difference?
   - WOW... - He is flabbergasted.

I smile and he says:
   -  But I still don't wanna go to Brazil again...
   - Really? What's the problem now?
   - I don't understand what people say there...Portuguese is too.. shiiiichiiiiitchiiii....

He is still the cuttiest, anyway!!!

Some months later...

  - Fífian ( Vivian), is it true they have the biggest parties in Brazil?  All the time? The whole year?
  - Yes, baby...we party a lot over there, but specially in Carnival time.
  - Hum...ok and is Carnival in summer time?
  - Yeah, absolutely!!!
  - WOW!!! Now, I really, really wanna go to Brazil again...I have to!


( Do I see some Latin influence on this lovely dutch boy? Do I??? )

Excerpts from conversations with cute 5-year-old boys

( Funny Spanish talk)

    - So, Juan Camilo, when are you going to visit me in Brazil?  - I ask enthusiastically.
    - Never. -  He says immediately.
    - Why not???  - I sadly ask.
    - Because I don't know your address!

My best friend's wedding

   Suddenly something has come to my mind as I was having a cup of tea. And it's not that Julia Roberts's movie; my best friend really got married!!!   = O
   I'm not the kind of person who believes in " nevers" and "alwayses" ( does this plural  form really exist? As the writer here, I can do that  = p ).  I'm not at all! However, I can still see some beauty on people who do their best to make their marriage live up to the promises made. Furthermore, the vows. Believe it or not, what I like most about them is the answer: " YES, I DO!". And the possible freaking out reactions if one says: " NO, I DON'T... Sorry, I can't help thinking about it on weddings. Very mean of me...
   Well, as I was saying, I can still see the beauty of it all and recently my best friend, Juliana, got married and I was her bridemaid!!! I felt way flattered by that! It was the first time I had such an honour. And while I was there attending the ceremony, a sweet memory crossed my mind.
   Back on the day...a couple of years ago...a lazy afternoon...I went to Ju's house and we decided to make brigadeiros ( Brazilian cholicious candy). Ivair came over too ( only her boyfriend at that time)...Ju was cooking...I was talking ( to make a change) and he was sitting on the floor. I simply hate being the third wheel, but they never made me feel like that. I was at ease with them. All of a sudden, for some reason, he said: Ju, I'll never leave you!!!
   Back to reality, I look around and I see him...He's dressed up and he's putting a ring on Ju's left hand. I can see his eyes gleaming. I can't hold the tears that are coming down. I pretend to be strong and wipe them away...But I can't hold it and I cry. I love her to the freaking bones and I wish her happiness with the same intensity I seek mine.

   ...My best friend is married!!!

quarta-feira, 2 de janeiro de 2013

Por isso eu quero ver!

Um homem precisa viajar. Por sua conta, nao por meio de histórias, imagens, livros ou TV. Precisa viajar por si, com seus olhos e pés para entender o que é seu. Para um dia plantar as suas próprias árvores e dar-lhes valor. Conhecer o frio para desfrutar do calor. E o oposto. sentir a distância e o desabrigo para estar bem sobre o próprio teto ( eu que o diga!!!). Um homem precisa viajar para lugares que nao conhece para quebrar essa arrogância que nos faz ver o mundo como imaginamos, e nao simplesmente como é ou pode ser; que nos faz professores e doutores do que nao vimos, quando deveríamos ser alunos e, simplesmente ir e ver. 
Amyr Klink, Mar Sem Fim

Por isso, nao me contento em ler ou escutar. Eu quero é ir ver!!!

Life of Pi , As Aventuras de Pi or Una aventura extraordinaria

I watched it last Sunday... Its simply beautiful!!!


terça-feira, 1 de janeiro de 2013

I'm a mom!